Don’t play the oracle: let your student find their own way
In The Matrix, the Oracle doesn’t give Neo the “solution”. She tells him what he needs to know so that he can find it himself.
The scene with the Oracle in The Matrix is a story I use during my instructor courses to highlight the risk of replacing the student in their own learning journey.
I tell them: “Don’t play the oracle, but if you had to: play the Matrix oracle.”
Good coaching does not necessarily add something. In many situations, it is an invaluable tool precisely because it takes something away.
Like the Oracle in The Matrix, we don’t know the student’s truth. We only know the path we are offering them. When we teach martial arts, we provide information, techniques, experience, and tools. But the solution that will work best for that particular student, in that particular moment, is something we can hypothesize about, not something we can know in advance.
Our role as coaches is to understand whether what we are doing is supporting the student’s journey or replacing it.
The difference matters.
Our experience may allow us to see a solution very quickly. But precisely because of this, we risk skipping steps that, although natural to us, may need to be experienced by the student through practice, mistakes, and repetition.
Sometimes helping means making an obstacle easier. At other times, it means allowing the student to make the effort necessary to overcome it, or even putting them in a situation that requires greater effort.
Sometimes the best choice is to do nothing.
But how do we decide?
And once we have decided, what do we do?
Two questions to ask before intervening
Am I supporting or replacing?
Before giving a solution, ask yourself whether the student needs a new tool, or whether you are simply doing something for them that they could learn to do independently.
Is this obstacle too difficult, or is it simply difficult?
Not every obstacle needs to be removed. Some need to be faced. The student may need more repetitions, a different explanation, a different exercise, or simply more time.
The coaching guideline
Coaching is not an exact science. We will never have all the information needed to know with certainty what will work.
The process is: listen, explore, propose an action, and verify.
Coaching is something we study and practice continuously.
Here is a simple cycle you can start applying immediately.
Step 1: Listen. Ask yourself: Does my student really need my help?
If the answer is no, leave things as they are, but keep listening and maintain your attention.
If you were wrong, you can always come back to this point.
Step 2: Explore. Ask what the difficulty is, what is missing, and what is needed. Try to understand what the student needs and how you can support them without replacing them.
Step 3: Propose. Offer a way of coping with it.
Step 4: Verify. Check whether it is working. Go back to Step 1 and ask yourself whether the student still needs you. Repeat the cycle as necessary, according to the time you have available.
The more experience we gain, the more this trial-and-adjustment process becomes automatic.
Keep the guiding principle in mind:
We don’t know the student’s path. We can help them walk it, but we cannot walk it for them.
If you want to explore your teaching approach and understand how to develop a more coaching-oriented way of working, contact me for an individual consultation.
